You Will Find Me While I Am No Longer There

Vais-me encontrar enquanto eu já não estou

📍 Maputo, Mozambique

In Mozambique, they say: "If you arrive late, you will find me while I am no longer there." I find this expression fascinating.

If I have already left, that doesn't prevent you from finding me, however, I will no longer be there.

It presupposes, I suppose, that you find other parts of me, perhaps dematerialized, like a scent, or the first part of a conversation I left unfinished, a trace, a consequence, a smile I left on the face of someone who stayed there, or a tear, a thought, a doubt, while I, materialized, did not remain.

Traveling is also, or perhaps it is just, this continuous dematerialization, a permanent flow of what we leave and what we take with us at every moment, of the conversations that mark us, of the places that remain etched in our memory, and of the people we cross paths with.

In all these moments, we leave and we take, and we remain findable, even while we are no longer there.

I take a lot with me from these last 5 weeks, and I know, without modesty, that I also left much more than a dozen Benfica jerseys.

The boys were fantastic, I never heard a complaint from them, not even when we realized that Kang was... Kang :). Always positive, curious, participatory.

I was never as well-oriented on the trip as when Raul was looking at the GPS; with him nearby, I know I'll never get lost. He was also the man of colorful cocktails and never stopped ordering them, despite the openly mocking look with which Vasco and I regarded those glasses that looked more like Christmas trees. I was sure he will always choose for himself regardless of the norm, and I hope he never loses the desire to try the new and the different.

Vasco was my political conversation companion and, clearly, the best DJ. I thought it would be him I'd hear asking, "Are we there yet?", but nothing, always smiling and in good spirits. He is already endowed with an adult sense of humor, and that side-smile, which creates dimples, melts me. He provokes me with his political ideas, and I fall for the provocations, like a duckling. And things don't sour only because he also comes, as standard, with the Empathy 5.0 kit that allows him to manage conversations with mastery.

Paula is "from here," from Africa. She was made here 50 years ago, and the sweetness of these ladies stayed with her. They don't speak, the words just glide.

From here, she also got her resilience, and positivity, the ability to face the biggest challenges with clenched fists, looking at the good side, be it of a thing, a moment, or a person. This is one of those things I wanted to take with me but can't; my chronic Portuguese pessimism is too deeply rooted.

Were it not for her eyesight problem, this combination of strength and softness would have made Paula the perfect travel companion.

Diego spent the last 6 months responding to the itinerary suggestions I sent him by message always with the same phrase: "For me, everything is fine, TOP!". And that's it, not even on the way to Cape Maclear did the man falter. "Diego, how are you?", "Everything's fine!" he would shout in that half-Spanish, half-Brazilian accent. Only the Tiko eco-lodge would get him down, but, after all, we weren't "All Fucked". Quietly, he was taking some of the best photos of the trip, like the one of the policeman in Malawi, and also, discreetly, compiling the best African songs we were listening to, to leave us a playlist that accompanied us on loop after Lilongwe.

Tomek was a competent navigator and extraordinary in his ability to keep us fed during the trip. Of course, that meant countless stops, whether to buy bananas (more bananas), or water (more water), or to pee because of all that water. But his concern for everyone's well-being compensated for all of it. He was clearly the most exotic of the group, blond, tall, with blue eyes; he just needed sandals and white socks to complete the look. I take many things from him, but I highlight his curiosity about the places we were passing through, which he satisfied on ChatGPT and shared with us.

Fernando S. entered in Lusaka and stayed until Maputo, and we drove the worst roads, just the two of us, after Nampula. Legend says that whoever drives from Nicoadala to Gorongosa Village in the same car, besides having their lower back destroyed, can make a wish that will come true; it's a good thing we both wished for good weather and lobsters in Tofo. As a DJ, he was a disaster, but as a navigator, he was diligent. In the worst road moments, he always managed to hide that he was exhausted and nauseous from driving inside craters, and he kept trying to cheer me up whenever we drove 20 meters without needing to stop. Being his first time in Sub-Saharan Africa, he loved everything, curious, and only looked at the good side of things. I was truly impressed with his ability to assimilate the Mozambican accent and pick up its expressions, I cannot lie!

My nieces gave us that initial push, an abundant dose of love and pampering on the first day in Maputo that always accompanied us and could be found in the car even after they were no longer there.

Nicolle, who prepared the car with absolutely everything that might be needed, including camping chairs, a kettle, cutlery, cups, a spare battery, flashlights, binoculars, a compressor, and that spell that kept us protected.

And Ferreira, who made his car available for 5 weeks to cover 11200 Kms on moon-like roads and crossing rivers, and now received it back, a bit tired, but I hope without any serious damage.

Without the generosity of the two, everything would have been much more difficult.

And Pedro and Marta, who welcomed us in Maputo with open arms. It was good to get home.

These are some of the things I take from the people most involved in the trip and that I don't want to forget.

Many people also followed along through the blog, and they kept telling me that "it was a shame you couldn't like" or commented with questions for me, like Dona Tininha :), but the system wasn't made for that, so it wasn't even possible to reply. But I liked knowing that there were people following, like Carla, who earned the badge of biggest fan.

This stage was good, it exceeded my expectations, which were already high, but what now?

Now. Now the journey continues, trying to take and leave good things out there, so that we continue to be found... even while we are no longer there.

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